Asian Guys, Build Your Self Confidence

   

For every 12 male Chinese births, there are 10 female Chinese births. This means that there will be 2 Chinese men who will be without a potential Chinese mate for every 10 female Chinese births. By 2020, it is estimated that 24 million Chinese men will end up without a female Chinese partner.

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"What if I'm [insert any Asian ethnicity other than Chinese]?", you ask. Sorry, yellow brotha, you didn't win the lottery. This gender disparity not only applies to the Chinese, but to many other Asian people as well.

So, as 2013 is coming to an end and 2014 just around the corner, you're probably wondering what new year's resolution you should entertain. "Should I set the same goal that I did last year of losing 20 pounds even though I gained 10 pounds this year?",  "should I master the 'Royals' tune on the guitar that my dad got me this Christmas?", or "should I find a job paying me $50k?" Shit, if you get that job, hook a brotha from another motha up! I'm literally broke as we speak! Anyway, these are all viable options. But let me suggest another one:

"Should I retire my right hand and get a girlfriend? I mean, I don't want to be one of the 500 giga-billion single Asian men who will end up without a female Asian partner for the rest of my life!!" If this thought crosses your mind, please read on.

So, as a single Asian guy looking forward to the new year, how can you position yourself in the dating world?


STRENGTHEN YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE!!

"Why Should I Develop My Self-Confidence?"
Self-confidence is a universal trait that all men, regardless of skin color, should possess in order to successfully attract a mate. Females consistently rate confidence high up on the what-guys-should-have list just like how Warren Buffett is consistently rated as the top 5 wealthiest individuals on the planet.

Self confidence is also a foundational trait in the dating world. Self-confidence serves as a basis that permeates to other "game" factors, such as better eye contact, more frequent smiling, confident postures, and more fluid conversations. Self-confidence is so powerful that it can overshadow someone who looks like a bum, to some degree.

My Self-Confidence Story
Ever since I was young, I had thought that I was the best man for any woman (Brad Pitt still got nothing on me!). I remember sitting in the shotgun seat of my mom's car, thinking about life and relationships, when I proclaimed to her that "I would be the best man and father any woman can want." Call me cocky, but I truly believed that I was worthy of any woman.

My steadfast belief carried over to my "game" (even though I had absolutely none). I believed that I could get any girl I wanted, so I went about hitting on all kinds of attractive women. One was 6 inches taller than I was. Another was Middle Eastern. Then, I met a beautiful, taller Black woman, and the rest is history.

 
"So, How Can I Develop My Self-Confidence?"
My way of developing self-confidence may differ from those of professionals. But, hey, it works for me, so it may work for you! Plus, it's rigid simple! Here it is:

Instill in your mind the mentality that goes something like this: "I CAN GET ANY GIRL I WANT" and/or "EVERY GIRL IS IN MY LEAGUE". That's it! 

"How does this even work?" you might ask. It all starts with the way you think and approach a situation. Remember the Little Engine That Could? It kept telling itself, "I think I can, I think I can", and eventually overcame an enormous obstacle and succeeded in accomplishing a big challenge. Once you think you can, it crushes many, if not all, of the negative self-talk and self-doubt swirling around in that big noggin' of yours. Your mind turns on its creative switch, and it figures out ways to get you that pussy that you've always wanted.

P.S. - Here are some resources that you might want to delve into further:

• JT "Asian Playboy" Tran and his bootcamp "ABCs of Attraction"
• Simple Pickup 

                        

Lorde and Lowe Dismiss Racist Bullying: What Everyone Can Learn

54% of Asians are the victims of bullying, as compared to 38% of Blacks, 34% of Hispanics, and 31% of Whites. So, that means that as an Asian, there is more-than-a-flip-of-a-coin chance that I will become a victim of bullying in my lifetime!? Aww, now, ain't life pretty for an Asian?

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Bullying is a serious epidemic in our society, yet when Asians take the front seat of the fists and spits, bullying becomes an even more serious issue. And the recent experience of Lorde and her Asian boyfriend, James Lowe, is no exception.

Lorde and Lowe's Racist Experience
Lorde, a 17-year old New Zealand celebrity singer-songwriter, and James Lowe, a 24-year old photographer, have been on the receiving end of racially and superficially instigated cyber-bullying on Twitter. Here are some racist comments they received:

•     Lorde and her boyfriend are so awkward
•     ...please look at Lorde's boyfriend. Some random Asian dude!
•     damn lorde is a lucky girl I bet her boyfriend gives her free manicures and pedicures
•     LORDE'S BOYFRIEND IS SOME UGLY OLD ASIAN GUY WTF
•     @lordemusic your boyfriend can suck my doesnt exist d--k he's so damn ugly ew you couldnt find better?
•     @lordemusic Your boyfriend is ugly as f--k you f--king bitch!
•     ...LOOK AT YOUR F--KING UGLY BOYFRIEND! HE IS SKINNY AND UGLY LOLZ!!
•     ...Oh hell no, Lorde. You'd scored a scrawny asian sugardaddy.
•      Lorde's boyfriend looks asian. No offence but he is ugly...
•     Come back to us when your boyfriend doesn't look like PSY gone wrong.

My instinctual responses were: "OH, HELLL NAWW! They didn't just throw stereotypical and superficial shit at my Asian Brotha and his Queen Bee! …If he was so ugly and old, why don't you troll Wendy Deng-Rupert Murdoch, Soon-Yi Previn-Woody Allen, or Alice Kim-Nicholas Cage! …James Lowe IS NOT skinnier than that guy-who's-name-I-don't-know on One Direction!” 

But did I create a Twitter account so that I can fight the naysayers? No, I held back my inner thoughts. 

How is it my place to judge others when the only thing I know about them is their physical appearance? Are human beings nothing more than just flesh and bones? Don't Lorde and Lowe have character? Or personality? And, what if, just what if, James Lowe was Santa Claus, looking over us to put names on the “naughty” list before Christmas Day? 

"Asian guys have small penises"
Although I grew up in environments where racial discrimination occurred once every blue moon and not to the extent that Lorde and Lowe experienced, I happen to have been a victim of racial prejudice.

Here's the story: A former friend (guess what happened there!) and I were talking about our classes, careers, and girls (in that order). One thing led to another, and then…

Bob (let's call him Bob, cause he looks like a Bob): “Asian guys have the smallest penises (chuckle)…I feel bad for you, man…it must be hard getting girls.” Yet, at the time, I was, and still am, with a Black girl.

Me: “Annnd, how do you know Asian guys have the smallest penises?"

Bob: “C’mon now. Everybody knows that. There's even a study that showed that Asian guys have the smallest penises. Look at Asian porn. All the guys have small penises (chuckles some more).”

I continued to question his claims, making it quite obvious that he had no viable facts to back up his preconceived opinions. All the while he refused to believe that his thinking was faulty and antiquated.

In the end, I shook my head, packed up my binders, and left him hanging.

 

Stand up for yourself and for others
I feel flustered that there are still people who believe in such nonsense. But what irritates me more is the idea that many Asians still don't speak up for themselves all the while being the subject of racial prejudice and discrimination. It is quite understandable since Asians traditionally have been groomed to stay silent and to not to stir trouble when facing insulting situations. To me, staying silent is my way of telling others that I lack self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence. These are characteristics that don’t define me. These are characteristics that don’t define many Asians. So, to the Asians who have been in mine and James Lowe’s shoes, to the men who are attracted to Asians (yes, I'm talking to you too, gay men), and to the women who have been in Lorde’s shoes (non-Asian women and Asian women), STAND UP TO THE BULLYING AGAINST ASIANS. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

"How?" you might ask. Here are two viable approaches, depending on the situation:

1. Give the offender a blank stare. Instead of feeding fuel to the fire by physically retaliating or verbally bashing the perpetrator, stare into their eyes emotion-less. It shows how unaffected you are by their naughty behavior - hopefully all they get for Christmas is a stocking full of coals. Also, it brings to their attention how naive they are, how ignorant they are, and how WRONG they are. And what effort do you have to show for it? NONE. This non-violent approach is like David to the Goliath.

2. Speak up against the bigotry. “I’ve been with all kinds of men, and my current Asian boyfriend is the best lover I can ever ask for!”, “No, my Asian boyfriend does not have a small penis. Let me ask you something. When did you develop your Asian penis fetish?”, or “I’m sorry, but what you’re saying is rude and disrespectful. It’s not appreciated here. Either stop or leave the room.” Speaking up shows that you are not OK with what they are saying. This approach tackles the issue more directly.

Last note to Lorde and Lowe
I applaud you both for challenging the social construct of how your partner should look like. I appreciate you, Lorde, for standing up for yourself and your Asian man. Even though I have not met both of you personally, I am your ally. I wish you both the best, and keep brushing off the haters.
 

About Me, Rick Bbwaag

Some people say I look Korean. Some say I look Filipino. Some say Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, or Taiwanese. One person asked me if I was half-Asian half-White.

"How can you be all of those ethnicities?!" I don't know...am I?

My Black girlfriend (fiance-to-be) claims that I am her Robin Thicke ('cause to her I look like Robin Thicke). I don't know about being her "Robin", but I sure am her "Thicke" *wink* *wink*.

To be honest with you, I don't know which ethnicity I belong to. Why? I look distinctively different from my siblings (whom both look more similar to each other than either of them are to me). Therefore, I question, to this day, whom my real parents are.

I am totally kidding! I give my parents the benefit of the doubt! But I honestly do look quite different from my siblings.

Anyway, to make matters short, I am an Asian guy who is trying to find an outlet to rant, vent, and share my stories to anybody who's willing to give a rat's ass. No, not literally ;).

One last thing...

I am interested in changing the way media portrays certain "disadvantaged" groups of people. These groups include people of minority backgrounds (e.g., Asians, Blacks, Hispanics), people from the LGBT community, women, etc. In essence, I want to fight these "-isms" (racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, heterosexism, weightism, etc.).

"How will you go about that?", you might ask.

Through films, commercials, advertisements, etc. I want to be a part of a team of passionate people who are interested in changing other people's perceptions about certain groups of people in the media.

"Unlikely to happen", you say.

I believe all things are possible, as long as you believe. Does that even make sense? Anywho...

If you have a slight interest, any interest at all in this matter, please shoot me a message. Let's talk. 

One more last thing... 

Please share your thoughts, experiences, or questions! I'd love to listen to what you have to say! 

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On another note...

"You see that Gucci purse that I got for this beautiful lingerie-wearing 10 who's laying on the king-size bed? After you're done checking me out, I'm going to join her in bed...and play Uno."